I hadn’t known what to expect and, with hindsight, I think that was probably for the best. La Gorzderette is a traditional competition akin to Gladiators on ice or It’s a Knockout on snow if any readers are old enough to remember that madcap TV show.
The event takes place in a very chilly valley at a beautiful French hamlet called Champagny-le-Haut, the gateway to the Vanoise National Park in Savoie Mont Blanc. Surrounded by such impressive peaks as 3656 m high Grande Motte (famed for the Tignes ski area) and the Grand Crasse at 3,800 m as well as 100 mountains over 3000 m, it’s little wonder that in January, this deeply-shaded canyon hardly sees the sun.
That’s why it’s the perfect position for Europe’s only ice climbing tower that acts like a totem pole for the whole occasion, gathering around 400 competitors for this annual event which this year has celebrated its 20th anniversary.
It’s called ‘Gorzderette’ after a Patois nickname for the former gorge inhabitants who were hardy enough to live in this remote and, for much of the winter, completely isolated location. It springs – perhaps unsurprisingly – from a local rivalry with the residents of Champagny-en-Vanoise, the picturesque village which sits below the knuckle-clenching, cliff-edge road between the two.
(image top credit OTGP, image above credit: Olivier Allamand)
Nun other
I should have suspected the unexpected when my French friend Celine turned up in a nun’s outfit. She had said at last minute that fancy dress costume was welcome but I hadn’t thought fast enough what to wear, realising too late that onesies over ski suits were de rigueur.
Despite all the layers in defiance of the bitterly cold subzero temperature, I felt distinctly underdressed when competitors turned out in force in bizarre and colourful costumes from the likes of Asterix and Obelix, the Mario Bros and a great many Minions. The outlandish outfits brought a smile to everyone’s faces and added to the joie de vivre of the occasion.
Two by two
The idea was that teams of two took on different tasks and were scored on each performance. We naively stumbled upon the hay sledging and thinking it looked fairly straightforward, eagerly signed up. Being pit against our younger friends Tracey and Sam, we each had to pull and push a very heavy sled laden with hay down a slope, around the corner and up the other side.
Celine and I set off at rocket speed (mainly because the sled was out of control) and thought we’d won when we reached the top of the hill first. But the bad news was we had to do the circuit twice! I think the altitude or my breakfast caught up, as I was all out of puff by the second push and we were disappointingly pipped at the post… I felt as ‘cheated’ as the Scottish rugby team against the French in the recent Six Nations clash at Murrayfield!
Next stop was ice kayaking, but joy of joys, you had to drag your canoe up a slippery slope before launching vertically off a steep platform careering at speed with paddles flailing until sliding to a stop. It was just as crazy as it sounds and we fared no better here.
(Image credit: Elisabeth Gayard)
Sister Act
By the time my game ‘bonne soeur’ partner suggested we swing ourselves along a rope ladder course, I suggested she’d be better paired with a stronger and sprightlier ‘monk’ who was more of a daredevil than me. It was a match made in Heaven – they completed the course and the photographs of the effort involved are still cheering me up to this day.
How Celine persuaded me to tackle the obstacle race, I’ll never know, especially as we had to complete it tied together with a short rope. After a quick blast of Chartreuse for Dutch courage, we were off…What Celine didn’t know was that the stud in my trousers immediately popped with just the initial effort of launching myself up the sawn tree trunks on the steep bank so that they were already beginning to slip by the time we had to inch precariously across a stream on an icy, narrow ladder one way and then back again.
Luckily, the rope round my middle held my waistband in place which undoubtedly spared my blushes, though I think the adjudicator probably disqualified me anyway as I wobbled, pirouetted and pivoted on the beams and narrow posts like Wallace in ‘The Wrong Trousers’.
If you had the metal, you could follow the tournament’s optimistic slogan: ‘Relax, it’s going to be fun’ by multi-tasking up to 11 different activities such as dragging tree trunks, tandem Nordic skiing or a treasure hunt for buried carrots through the forest. I think my only forte lay in the turbo dancing, fuelled by further shots of help-yourself Génépi.
Towering above
The pièce de résistance was trying to master the 22 m high ice tower itself – equipment and instructors were on hand to encourage even novices like us to have a go. Celine seemed to receive Devine inspiration as she charged up to the Heavens as if on wings, whereas I thought it was one Hell of a challenge which was perhaps best left to those younger, fitter and lighter of Crampon!
I’m unsure what our final score was but would have been surprised to notch up more than ‘nil points’ – though we had a lot of laughs trying!
And we enjoyed warming up with mulled wine and a well-deserved lunch of diot sausages and lentils with French bread and home-baked pistachio cake served by an army of volunteers in a central marquee to the tune of a cheery brass band.
Held during the last weekend of January, I’d definitely recommend the three-day La Gorzderette to a group of friends wanting to celebrate a special birthday, hen or stag party in a unique and memorable way – or for families with children aged 13+ looking for adventure. It costs around 50 euros per ticket which includes two lunches, shows, an after party, film night, equipment, ice climbing and cross-country skiing, while non-participants can pay for lunches (17 euros pp) or the party (10 euros pp) separately. Visit www.gzd.fr
(Image credit: Elisabeth Gayard)
Snow much fun
As the ice tower stands all winter long, it’s available to anyone who wants to learn how to scale it more nimbly than my feeble efforts. A two-hour initiation costs from 45 euros pp for a group of four or more, or you can self-climb from 12 euros for half a day.
There is also an igloo with ice sculptures which young children will particularly enjoy.
Families may like to go snow shoeing as we did on a half-day guided hike close to the cross-country ski routes and by the riverside. On flat and easy paths, we wandered to the tiny hamlet of Friburge where only one artisan couple lives in this spectacular hideaway, surrounded by mountains.
Our guide Mathieu brought binoculars so that we could see the wild ibex and chamois on the high slopes above. He explained some of the effects that climate change was having on the surrounding retreating glaciers and local wildlife like mountain hares whose coats are now remaining white long after the snow has melted, much earlier than in the past.
From 25 euros pp per half-day: www.phene-outdoor.fr
Take refuge
It’s an experience in itself staying at the Refuge du Bois, a basic accommodation mountain hut at Champagny-le-Haut. Our dormitory could sleep 56 when full, partitioned into boxes of four individual bunks for a bit of privacy. As all genders and ages are lumped in together, including young babies in travel cots, my advice is to take ear plugs and an eye mask if you want to get a decent night’s sleep!
The showers and bathrooms are also shared – and can be a walk from your bunk, so best to take your own towel and a head torch. Sheet sleeping bags are provided as well as a duvet and pillow, while there is also a reading lamp and a small cupboard or drawer, but not a lot of room for luggage.
A four-course dinner can also be included in the quaint, atmospheric restaurant with its quirky collection of alpine ornaments and footwear hanging from the ceiling. Soup, pork and rice, cheese and a delicious dessert were on the menu the night we stayed and there was a fun, impromptu jamming session provided by a saxophonist and guitarist that were there to play at La Gorzderette the following day.
Breakfast included muesli, yoghurt, French bread, butter and jam, orange juice, tea and coffee.
If you don’t mind the overly-cosy sleeping quarters, then it’s definitely good value at 61 euros half board.
(Image credit Philippe Gal)
Grand designs
I have to say that I felt a lot more at home in our second choice of accommodation – Résidence Ancolie by Alpina Immo in pretty Champagny-en-Vanoise (pictured above). These spacious, stylish chalet apartments definitely have the wow factor, not just for the interior design, but for the incredible panoramic view over the village below and Courchevel beyond, which was lit up after dark.
Extra touches include a wood-burning stove, wraparound balcony with outdoor furniture, en-suite bedrooms, an open kitchen/living/dining area, sink-into sofas, deep-pile rugs, ski lockers and even a garage.
The Résidence also has an on-site ski hire Alpina shop and one of the best Italian restaurants I’ve ever had the pleasure to dine at. Must-eats at Il Restaurante are the truffle scallops, octopus salad, freshly-made pepper pasta and pizza with opulent truffle shavings.
Three-bedroom apartments start from 500 euros per night or 1,900 euros per week, sleeping up to six.
Plagne to ski?
It was also a very short, 100 m walk to the main Champagny gondola which takes just a few minutes to reach 225 km of La Plagne pistes. There are lift passes for this ski area alone, or for the even more extensive Paradiski which links Les Arcs and Peisey Vallandry via the huge, double-decker Vanoise Express cable car.
Paradiski, with 425 km of pistes, is currently celebrating its 20th anniversary, but as we only had a long weekend, we felt there was plenty to ski in La Plagne alone. First established 60 years ago, the mixture of seven purpose-built sites and four original villages has now grown to offer 56,000 beds from between 1250 m and 2050 m. I preferred picture-postcard Champagny to much busier Plagne Centre with its taller, 70s’-style buildings, but it’s all a matter of taste (and probably age)!
(The author on the slopes)
From the surrounding summits, the views are extensive and very hard to beat as you can see a multitude of peaks including France’s highest Mont Blanc and as far as Italy and Switzerland as well as Les 3 Vallées closer at hand, but not accessible on skis.
You can drink it all in with a lunch menu of the day at stylish, on-slope restaurant Inversens at the top of the run with the same name. Here you’ll find floor-to-ceiling panoramic windows, a sunny terrace or relaxing deck-chairs, as well as great food such as croziflette and raspberry tart served with a glass of kir.
A winner for beginners
La Plagne, meaning flat plateau, has a deserved reputation for being a brilliant beginners’ resort as 60% of its pistes are greens and blues. Many wide and gentle slopes are described as ‘boulevards’, ideal for cruising and it is possible to traverse the ski area from one end to the other on blue runs.
The down side can be that on a packed sunny Sunday even in January, skiers who think they’re better than they are charge down faster than they should (I clocked up several near misses with skiers overtaking too close or not looking where they were going).
Yet intermediates and experts will be happy to hear that they can get away from the maddening crowds on 53 red and black runs as well as plenty of off-piste routes, including the famous North Face of Bellecôte which we peered over with an involuntary gasp from me at its steep, 40-degree pitch. Those with nerves of steel can walk along the ridge to discover an even more demanding 50-degree descent…
As the summit of Bellecôte reaches 3417 m, it was hardly surprising that the best snow was on the glacier and I enjoyed skiing red run Combe. Le Derochoir, a black descent, offers eye-turning views as well as a thigh-burning challenge!
For a longer, 1,100 m vertical drop through trees and breath-taking scenery, Le Mont de la Guerre, a red ‘Natur’ (ungroomed) run winds back down towards Champagny-en-Vanoise for more than six kilometres with no chairlifts in sight.
An adult ski pass for La Plagne costs from 55 euros per day or 280 euros for six days. An adult ski pass for Paradiski costs from 70 euros for one day and 369 euros for six days. The resort is open until late April 2024.
Bob on
One ultra-special attraction for La Plagne is that it is home to France’s only bobsleigh and skeleton track, built for the 1992 Albertville Winter Olympic Games. Even more exciting, the team here headed by former French bobsled champ Bruno Thomas, has created an original bob raft – unique in the world – that can be self-driven by holidaymakers down the 19 nail-biting, intestine-twisting bends.
It’s a must-do adrenaline rush for anyone like me who has secretly held this dream high on their bucket wish list for years. This may be the gentler, family-friendly version (you can sign up for the real thing if you have the nerve), but this is definitely an authentic introduction to what it’s really like to compete in this edge-of-your-seat extreme sport.
Yes, you may ‘only’ hit a top speed of 80 km/h compared to the piloted 120 km/h competition bob, but I can still vouch that you’ll feel every thunderous judder, stomach-flipping thrill and increasingly intense G-force as you fly down the illuminated 1.5 km icy tube in the coolest and most exhilarating 90 seconds you’re ever likely to experience in your lifetime.
The four-person Bob Raft costs from 55 euros pp, the solo ride Speed Luge from 125 euros and the Bob Racing driven by a pilot from 139 euros. New for this year, you can even ‘Become a bobsleigh pilot in a day’ from 590 euros, though will now need to wait till next season for available dates.
(Image credit Louis Garnier)
Further information at: https://en.la-plagne.com/ and https://www.savoie-mont-blanc.com/en/
